


Double D's

by sksdwrld



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, damn muggle devices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-28 17:59:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/677247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sksdwrld/pseuds/sksdwrld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry returns home late from work several days in a row.  What is Draco to do in the face of a neglectful husband?  And what the hell is wrong with this infernal Muggle Device?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Double D's

It was going on seven when Harry arrived home from work, late, the same way he had done for three out of the last five working days. He was expecting to get an earful from Draco, but the house they shared was practically dark. With a sinking feeling, he threw his briefcase and coat onto the dining room table, which was empty and cold. Another sign that things were going south, and fast.

Harry wondered what kind of reaming he was in for, if Draco was so bent out of shape that he hadn’t bothered to make supper for him. He loosed his tie and began ascending the stairs.

“Draco? Dray?” he called. At the end of the hallway, a faint glow was coming from under the bedroom door. Harry chewed his lip nervously as he approached. Draco, when severely angered, could be more frightening than the worst sort of criminal he’d ever chased down during his day job as an auror.

Harry cracked the door open and peeked inside. What he saw confused him.

Draco was kneeling, naked at the foot of the bed, hunched over and fumbling with something against the comforter. He was flushed and angry looking, but clearly distracted.

“Bloody, sodding, miserable muggle devices…” he grumbled to himself. “Why won’t you work?!” He picked up what appeared to be a large, glittering green dildo and smacked it against the mattress three times, before holding it up and eyeing it like he was expecting it to do something.

Harry had to bite his knuckle to keep from laughing out loud.

Draco threw the toy down and picked up an unfolded bit of paper, his lips moving slightly and his finger moving across the lines as he read. “But I bloody did that already!” he argued with the directions.

The door pushed open further, and this time Draco looked up, catching Harry’s eyes with his own. “Well, about damn time you got here.” His lips pressed into a thin line, and before Harry could apologize, Draco flung the dildo at him. Harry caught it against his chest.

“Sorry, love. Something I could, ah…help you with?” He licked his lips and eyed Draco with wicked intent.

“Yeah…you can fix that infernal Muggle contraption so that the next time you leave me waiting, I can take care of my own damn needs!” Draco huffed and folded his arms across his chest. “And don’t you even think of looking at me like that when you can’t be bothered to come home on time like a proper husband. Just…” he waved his hand several times at the rubber cock Harry held in his hands. “make that thing do what it’s supposed to.”

Harry sighed and settled down on the mattress, wondering what it was that had Draco so confused. He tipped the dildo this way and that, then seeing the outlet on the bottom, realized that it was no simple toy, but a vibrator as well. “Well, Draco…” He said, trying not to be too arrogant about the whole ordeal. He flipped back the flap that held the battery well shut, then held it up to show him. “You’ve got to insert two D batteries.,.”

“I did that already, “ Draco insisted with a glare. 

Harry frowned, because the power supply was clearly empty. But Draco got to his feet and shook his rump at Harry. “But to be honest with you, they’re not doing anything for me either!”

**Author's Note:**

> Do not put foreign objects in your rectum! The rectum is a natural vacuum and sucks things in. Only use toys approved for anal play! Do not put batteries inside any part of your body. They're filled with acid, okay? 
> 
> This is a work of fiction.


End file.
